Dr Corbyn or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Labour Party

Really? Me love the Labour Party? No, but I do love a good political scrap and this leadership election is turning into a real political nuclear confrontation with the gloves off and Mutually Assured Destruction at the top of the menu.

Good versus Evil
Good versus Evil

In one corner we have The Corbynator. A bearded retro Labour man (might I even say socialist or Marxist?) who has dared to remind the Labour Powers That Be of the party’s roots in class struggle, radical socialism and a hatred of the capitalists.

In the other corner, lead by various Torylite Labour lightweights, are those who claim that a vote for The Corbynator is a vote for political suicide. If the media is to be believed then this Machiavellian group, apparently led by that oily smooth operator known simply as Blair, is preparing to do anything to stop the Bearded One from ascending to the Labour throne.

Not since a certain other man with the initials JC (I refer to the true messiah, Our Lord Jeremy Clarkson, and not the fictional/lame Jesus Christ) has one man been the centre of so much media attention.

The Labour Powers That Be sound like barmy American evangelists claiming that gay marriage would lead to various apocalyptic scenarios. No, a vote for The Corbynator will not result in Islington being destroyed by rampant giant tree frogs. Nor will a vote for The Corbynator ensure the destruction of the Labour Party. If anything, and I’m going by the comments/tweets/posts/burblings of Labour grassroots supporters, Labour might just become the next party of government.

What? Has the Hodges Beast gone completely mad?

No. Well, no more than usual.

At general elections people vote with their hearts more than their heads. Most never read a manifesto or attend a hustings. They can’t be bothered with all the kerfuffle. They vote either as they’ve always voted OR they choose to vote for whoever appeals to them. The person that they relate to and trust – and I know that’s just surface fluffiness but that’s how it works. People aren’t rational animals, they’re rationalising animals. Making a decision and then looking for reasons after the event.

Jeremy Corbyn could just be the kind of political leader that the masses will take to their sweaty bosoms and adore. Something that the Nasty Tory Party are almost certainly aware of, and fearing. I suspect that deep under London, in a dingy bunker near Tory HQ, are an army of researchers tasked with digging the dirt (real or otherwise) on The Corbynator so that they’ll be ready the moment he is crowned King of Labour. Everything he has ever said, every vote he has caste, his breakfast preferences and even the size of his manhood will be grist for their mills of smeariness.

Of course, all Corbyn has to do is promise to put a certain Tony Blair on trial for war crimes and he’ll probably win a landslide victory at the next election.

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