Following on from my recent rant against tattoos….

I get a lot of telephone calls. Especially cold calls from people looking to sell my business some sort of service or product. And yes, I hate cold calls probably more than the next person but that isn’t the subject of today’s rant.


What really pisses me off is the opening solicitation that many calls begin with. I’m referring to the “how are you?” and “how are you doing today?” type of opening gambit. My blood starts to boil as soon as I hear those dreaded words.

Now I know why sales people use this approach. They hope you’ll be lulled into believing that they are actually concerned for you and it’ll enable them to build rapport quickly. Translated into real world language? That you, the chump, will be so blinded by their false front niceness that you’ll buy whatever shit they are selling today.

Years ago I worked in Pre-Sales Technical Consulting and one of the sales people always started their calls with a solicitation as to the health of the victim and they always responded to whatever they heard with “Good. Good.” Then they went into their sales pitch. It sounded false to me then and it sounds even more false to me today.

I’d prefer a caller to be upfront and honest with me, telling me from the start what they want. False inquiries as to my health just rub me up the wrong way. If you want to be polite then just say “good morning” otherwise be prepared to get an earful of vitriolic verbiage.

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